*Insert Alkaline Trio lyric here*

After Erin and I broke up, which was on the way back from Chicago, I took another road trip home for Russel's wedding. David let me use his car. I drove alone. In seven days I was to return to Arkansas and move out of the Booker house into Valentine. I was single and on the road and out of that miserable house. To say I was relieved doesnt say it. I was elated. Joyous. I turned the radio up and sang along so loud, I was so happy it was hard to get all the words out I was crying so hard. I feel a bit like that now. I have everything in front of me. But I have managed to let a few things into my head that is holding me back from being truly happy. I have the same things I had last year and more and only more is to be expected beyond the horizon. When this summer finally ends. Maybe it is the heat that has me all worked up more so than usual. I want to wake up and be an earthquake. Shake this fucking place up. Hold hands with revolution. But I feel more like I am biding time. Waiting for an opportunity to pounce. I hate waiting. I get so frustrated. Why cant anything be easy, simple? Ever. You know what? Fuck easy. I opine and wine about shit being needlessly complicated. I like girl, she likes me, why cant we just be....blah blah fuck that. I dont want it to be easy anymore. I'll wait and wait. When it does finally happen, if it ever happens, I'll be so happy I'll cry like I'm driving home.